Fear is another cause of distress. We all experience fear, it’s a protection mechanism. While it’s OK to start afraid, it’s not OK to stay afraid.
We must remember that our mind is designed to avoid pain. We are not driven by fear itself, but by the fear that something will cause pain. Removing the pain association will allow us to proceed.
If your mind is afraid, you will fail
Imagine being asked to walk across a balance beam that is 6” wide and 3” off the floor. Most people can easily accomplish this task. But what happens when the same balance beam is raised to 100 feet?
You lose coordination and your sense of balance. Unless you have lots of practice, you WILL fall.
What’s the difference? Instead of focusing on safely arriving on the other end of the balance beam, you are focusing on the consequences of failure. You move in the direction of your focus, hence you will fail. When your mind is afraid, you will fail.
Fear of failure
Fear of failure is a manifestation of lack of inner-strength; the lack of belief in yourself and your abilities.
As our balance beam example illustrates, this fear is not based in reality, merely in your perception of the situation. If you made it across the beam the first time, the reality is that you have the skills and ability to cross the beam. You have the proof that you can do it; yet your mind is convinced that you cannot, therefore you fail.
Fear of the unknown
Uncertainty is always affiliated with pain. It’s a natural response to fear the unknown. It protected us from venturing into a tiger’s lair during the caveman days.
Our subconscious is designed to make the unknown more painful than the present, no matter how bad the current situation may be. It is wired to prefer the known to the unknown; it would rather keep us in our cave with no food than risk being a tiger’s lunch.
Many people remain in physically abusive relationships due to this fear. The abuse becomes more comfortable than venturing into the unknown.
We cannot cling to comfort if we want to move forward.
It takes courage to take risks, but like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz, we all have this courage.
In order to progress, we must conquer this fear.
Fear of making decisions
Decisions are easy when you have clear values. They become more difficult when your values are muddy. This confusion leads to pain and therefore we do nothing.
For instance, most of us believe that murder is wrong. We choose not to kill people, no matter how angry we may become. Our values will not permit us to commit murder, therefore the decision is easy.
Making the decision whether or not to tell your brother’s wife that he is cheating may create a conflict in your values. You may be torn between loyalty to your brother and your view on cheating. This decision may be harder for you to make. Because it causes you to reach your pain-pain threshold, you may end up doing nothing.
Fear of rejection
Many people hate to sell because they are afraid of the rejection. Others become extremely wealthy because they enjoy the exhilaration of the conquest. The difference between the two is merely the fear of criticism.
We fear criticism because we place too much importance on being accepted. What the outside world thinks of us is more important to us than our own self-respect. This is manifestation of low self-esteem. You are allowing other people to dictate how you live.
Successful people don’t live their lives trying to gain the approval of others; therefore they are not afraid of rejection. Criticism and rejection are OK as long as they maintain their self-respect.
To be truly successful, you must make your own dignity a priority over acceptance by others.
You will be rejected in sales and in life. Everyone is not going to like you. Do not allow others to define your self-worth.
Do not allow fear to control your destiny.