I learned these tricks from Anthony Robbin’s number 1 best seller – Awaken the Giant Within and have been using them for over a decade and they work. If you don’t already have one, get a copy of this book. It is a MUST READ.
In my last post about emotions, I talked about how emotions are a trigger that something needs to change. Today, we will look at the 5 emotions that should be dealt with ASAP and the changes that you need to make in order to return to normal.
Always remember that the only person that you can change is yourself.
Fear signals that you are unprepared for what is coming next. It can paralyze you into not doing anything. Fear is your subconscious’ way of keeping you in your psychological comfort zone. The problem is, if you stay in your comfort zone, you will never progress.
The easiest way to overcome fear is to mentally prepare for what comes next. Visualizing yourself at the next level really helps. A technique that I use to overcome fear is “what’s the worst case scenario?” If I can handle the worst possible outcome, then there is nothing to fear.
The butterflies will go away as you move to the next level.
I have all but conquered this one and it has made such a difference in my life.
Anger is caused when someone violates your rules about how things should work. Left unchecked, anger will fester into hatred, so deal with it quickly. Anger also causes dangerous physical changes such as increased heart rate and higher blood pressure, so get rid of it quickly.
First of all, let the cerebral cortex take over. Count to 10 and calm down. Never have a discussion when you are angry.
Secondly, evaluate the rules that were violated. How important are they in the scheme of things? How reasonable are they? Could you live with your own rules?
If you are angry because your mate squeezed the toothpaste tube in the middle, maybe you need to calm down a bit.
Once you have decided that your rules are reasonable and that something needs to change, try to minimize your anger by turning down the emotional intensity. Instead of being “fuming mad” can you possibly be “a wee bit ticked?”
Only after the intensity is turned down should you discuss the situation with the person that violated your rules.
Frustration simply means that you think you should be doing better.
Frustration must be dealt with because it can turn into bitterness and an overall nasty disposition.
If you are frustrated, figure out what you want to do. Then DO it. The only thing that is stopping you is FEAR.
Frustration also comes when other people don’t act the way you want them to. Remember that you can only control yourself, not others. Focus on controlling yourself and doing what you want to do with life and you will not have time to try to control others.
This is the emotion that I wrestle with the most. Hurt signals that another person did not meet your expectations. I am very sensitive and easily hurt.
When I am hurt, I must remember the lessons that I have learned about positive living. I must remember that people do things for their own reasons, not mine. I also must remember that other people’s worlds don’t revolve around me.
So, when you are hurt, what needs to change? Your expectations of others.
Ask yourself if your expectations are realistic. (By no means should you accept being a doormat.) If you feel they are realistic, discuss your hurt with the person who is causing it. Be calm and rational, but explain your position. Recognize that the other person is as free as you are to act any way that they wish.
If they continue in hurtful behavior, then you must decide whether or not the relationship is worth the hurt they are causing. Then ACT on your decision.
My beloved mother-in-law was the Queen of Guilt. I wish that I had half her skill in this area.
When you feel guilt, it is because you have violated your own standards, therefore guilt can be a good thing.
When you feel guilt, first make sure that your standards are realistic.
My 14 month old grandson tripped and bumped his mouth against the wall. My son felt guilty because he did not protect his child from danger. Although I am grateful that he has such a strong paternal instinct, I explained to him that his standards of protecting his child from bumps and scrapes were much too high. He needed to be more realistic in his expectations of himself.
The most important thing about guilt is to forgive yourself. We all screw up from time to time, but harping on our failures leads to low self-esteem.
When you make a mistake, scold yourself quickly. Say, “that’s not like me. The next time I will…”
Then put a period at the end and move on.
If you can think of more negative emotions and how to overcome them, I’d love to hear about them.