Get Something That Fits!!!
I’m going there – relationships.
Why? Because people always ask me how I make mine work (I’ve been with the same man since I was 16) and how they can make their relationships work as well.
First of all, most people make relationships entirely too difficult. Having drama in your relationships is mental junk food. So here is the first installment of relationship advice:
Find the right person
Too many people spend too much time with the wrong person. It amazes me how many people are so happy to find someone that they never look at the quality of that someone. They never look at whether or not they are spending time with someone who is right for them.
To me it’s like buying a pair of jeans and taking them to a seamstress and expecting her to make a prom dress. They’re JEANS and they always will be jeans for crying out loud.
While you can have the seamstress put a tuck in the waste or maybe hem the jeans for a better fit, you can’t expect her to turn them into something they are not.
Your relationships are the same way. Some people are jeans, some are designer suits, some are evening wear. Each is appropriate for their own occasion. Jeans have the right to be jeans. If you don’t like jeans, then why are you buying them? More importantly, why are you blaming the jeans for being jeans?
Not every person you meet is right for you. Accept that and decide what type of person you want to be with. Then go shopping.
The right store
Here’s the next mistake. Once you decide what type of person you want to be with, shop in the right store.
Would you shop for a prom dress in Walmart? Why not? Because Walmart doesn’t carry prom gowns. That’s not the kind of store that it is.
Then why are you looking for a family man (woman) in a night-club, or a party animal in church? If you want a professional, then go to places where professionals meet, not to the local fire hall bingo match.
What if you can’t afford to shop in that particular store? Then it’s up to you to put yourself in the position to shop there. If you like designer clothes, then it’s up to you to find the type of job that will pay for these clothes, or else buy off the rack.
Same thing with relationships. You must also be marketable in the places that you are looking for a mate. It’s great to be in the market for a PhD, but if you dropped out of high school, what will attract them to you? If you want an educated mate, become educated yourself. If you want money, make money. In this way, you are putting yourself in the market you want to be in.
Slavery is illegal
Finally, once you find the person that seems to be a good fit, don’t make the mistake of thinking that sleeping with, living with, procreating with or marrying another somehow implies ownership of said person. Last time I checked, slavery is illegal.
No matter what your relationship, you don’t own anyone and will make yourself crazy trying to control them.
As I said before, minor adjustments are necessary to make any relationship work, but being too controlling will end a good thing very quickly.
People who cheat will cheat, no matter what you do. Following them around, answering their phone, reading their Facebook page isn’t going to stop them. If you don’t trust them – move on.
Lenny didn’t get it
Think of Lenny from Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. He squeezed his beloved small animals so hard that he broke their necks. He didn’t get it – holding on too tightly will kill that which you love.
Loosen up. Suffocating your mate will kill. And by all means – get a mate that fits.