(Child) Girl

“How much does it cost to be happy, safe and secure?”

This question came from an 18-year-old girl on Facebook. Her father won a bitter custody battle for her and her brother, only to allow her new stepmother to throw them on the street at 15 and 16.

“I wish that I knew my father,” from 19-year-old boy whose mother never bothered to tell his father that he existed.

“When I was 8, my father asked me not to visit anymore even though he lives around the corner. He doesn’t want his girlfriend to know he has kids, ” this writer turned into a super father.

As part of my job and part of my life, I listen to these stories every day. I listen and hold back the tears…

My job begins by showing these young adults that they have self-worth. A lesson that should be learned from their parents…

Children are not our possessions, they are our gifts…

Unexpected gifts are often the best kind…

I am shocked by the parents who have no problem tearing their children apart. Do they know the damage that they cause?

Tearing your children down tears builds a wall between you and success…

I am reminded of a story one of my students related about how he saved up for six months to buy his kids a play station for Christmas – only to have them break it two days later. Is that how God feels when we mistreat our children?

My student will think twice before buying the next expensive gift for his children. Are you missing out because you don’t take care of what you have?

It takes time, energy and sacrifice to take good care of your children. But they deserve every ounce of it that we can give.

The boomerang gives back whatever we throw out there. It’s a universal law.

We should really throw LOVE to our children…

  • It’s about them not about you. Becoming a parent means YOUR needs are SECOND. In my family, kids ate first (a throwback to the days when there was a risk of running out of food.) Your play time, new mate, career is second to their needs. Those other things can be replaced, your child cannot.

 Having bad parents is not an excuse to perpetuate the pain in your own children. CHANGE it and turn things around.

  •  Security is crucial to your kids. Children and young adults (18 – about 25) cannot provide for themselves. That is your job. Make it happen. This includes making sure that your child support is paid without fail.

Even young adults have difficulty getting on their feet in this economy. Just because they had a birthday is not cause for throwing them into the street. Along with this, however make sure that they are making MOVES toward independence – job, education, military and that they RESPECT your home and the rules.

  • Encourage them to do their best. We all make mistakes. Mistakes are part of learning and growing. Keep their mistakes in perspective; don’t make them a scathing assessment of their worth. While you should be disappointed in that D in math, it is not evidence that your child is stupid or lazy; it is an opportunity for you to help them.
  •   Praise them from the rooftops when they do something good. Keep it between you and your child when they do something bad.
  •  Time is free yet so precious. They will cherish the things you did with them, the time you spend with them much more than money. Doing household chores together can creating lasting, warm memories.

 Never miss a visit if you are a non-custodial parent, the disappointment is crushing.

  •  Limits are also a responsibility of taking care of your gift. Children who are never told NO grow up with low self-esteem because the world will tell them NO. Parents are tasked with teaching children how to live as adults. Part of this is living within boundaries and following the rules.
  •  Love is a birth-right, including access to both parents. Whatever your personal issues with the other parent, your child has a right to their love.  Single moms, tell the father – the child has a right for him to know. If he decides to do the wrong thing, that’s his problem, you did the right thing.

 Don’t deny visits. The only exception to this rule is if the other parent is abusive or neglectful.

Child support is for the courts, love is a birthright.

  •  Legacy. Your children, not your tombstone are your legacy. They will be the ones to pass your story along. What will that story say?

I have been reading some great parenting tips on Stress Free Kids and Raising Great Men, even my friend RumpyDog knows how to love her pups.

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About living4bliss

Mental Health Food is the place to stop to get your bliss on everyday. I give tips, hints and sometimes a little silliness to help you navigate the challenges of life. We have a great community of positive bloggers that keep the bliss going all day every day. Make sure to visit their blogs, too. Mental Health Food is a product of Believing Life Is Setup for Success, Inc. (B.L.I.S.S.) in Thornton, CO. We have been in the business of teaching success since 1991. We provide workshops, consulting services and now videos that help people just like you start and maintain successful businesses and personal lives using what you already have. Enjoy a daily dose of Mental Health Food; nourishment for the mind.

3 responses »

  1. rumpydog says:

    Those are some sad stories. But many people who experienced horrible things have gone to do amazing things later in life.

    Children are full of joy and of hope. We can choose to foster that while teaching the child self-discipline or we can turn them into yet another festering automaton.

    • living4bliss says:

      You know that anyone who writes micropoetry is not in favor of festering automation. 🙂 I believe that our freedom to be creative is what has made this country strong and that insistance on conformity will be our ruin.

      I just watched a Steve Jobs documentary that quoted him as saying, “once you understand that you can change life…you can mold it, that’s the most important thing.”

      I have no doubt that the children in my story will turn out to be amazing people. I just can’t understand how some parents can do these things to their children. They depend on us.

      I also agree about discipline in children. Loving your child also means teaching them limitations and behaviors that allow them to function in society while still encouraging them to be the person that they were created to be. It is a tough job, balancing the two, but I have also seen some amazing parents do it very well.

  2. […] Gifts, not possessions (living4bliss.wordpress.com) […]

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