Fear is a learned response. It will defeat us if we allow it to.

Many people who live in fear claim to be realists. Unless they are psychic, realists cannot predict the future, they merely choose to imagine a negative future. Realists are stagnant and unhappy.

Successful people create their own positive future rather than allow themselves to be controlled by an imagined, negative future. Both futures are imagined, the difference is what each person CHOOSES to imagine it will be.

Imagining a bright future will cause you to act upon it. You will be attracted to it and live a more fulfilling life. Imagining a dark future will cause you to live in fear, never making progress. By not giving up fear, you risk giving up your dreams. Fear scares you from even TRYING.

If you want to be truly successful, it’s time to drive fear out of the way you live.


Worry is a form of negative goal-setting.  FEAR – False Expectations Appearing Real.

Worry puts you in an unproductive state; it causes you to focus on the negative. We travel in the direction that we look.

Using “WHAT IF” will cause you to imagine things that are not likely to occur and will cause mental paralysis – you will end up doing nothing. What if is a subconscious trick used to help us avoid immediate pain.  

The what ifs that control so much of our lives, rarely become a reality.  We are equipped to handle those that do, yet we allow what if to control our destiny.

Restrictive motivation

Restrictive motivation never works. Telling yourself “do this or else” is a sure-fire way to start an internal war. “HAVE TO” is self-bullying. When bullied, your subconscious will fight back, whether the bully is internal or external.

The subconscious’ job is to avoid pain and seek pleasure. When there is a tie, pain avoidance always wins. Sometimes this short-term pain avoidance can cause long-term damage.

Restrictive motivation causes procrastination and sloppy work. You will fight back by only doing things well enough to get by. It limits your potential and lowers your self-esteem.


When we live in fear, we make excuses. Every decision in life has an opportunity cost attached to it. If I spend this dollar here, I won’t have it to spend there.  You make lifestyle choices based on these opportunity costs. Whatever your situation, it is your fault, your choice.

Excuses remove use from taking responsibility for our destiny. It is a manifestation of low-self esteem, refusing to be proactive in your own life. If your life is not travelling in the right direction for you, change it – it’s your responsibility.

Negative focus

Fear causes us to focus on the negative consequences of our choices. When we focus on the negative, we continue to move in a negative direction.

Choose not to live in fear RIGHT NOW

We all have fears; however, they are the enemy of our progress; a fire-breathing dragon. Stand tall before them and confront them with your mind.

  • Operate your life in free will. Remove HAVE TO and replace it with WANT TO. Don’t bully yourself and don’t allow yourself to be bullied by others.
  • Everything you do in life is your idea and your choice. Be willing to accept the consequences of your actions. Choose to live by the choices you make.
  • Associate EXTREME PLEASURE with the positive aspects of your situation. Focus on where you want to go, not the fear of the journey. You will travel in the direction of your focus. Remember that when pain and pleasure are equal, pain avoidance always wins, so tip the scale in favor of pleasure.
  • Believe in yourself. You will eventually become bigger that whatever it is that intimidates you. Imagine yourself safely arriving at your destination.
  • Take the worst case scenario approach to problems. What is the worst thing that can happen if I do this? Can I handle it? If so, proceed. If not, find another solution.
  • Design how to overcome obstacles. Spend 10% of your time identifying problems and 90% of your time solving them. Use the what if? So what? mind game. What if this happens? So what. What if that happens? So what.
  • Allow yourself to be human. Humans are not perfect. We make mistakes. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. Just don’t allow yourself to repeat the same mistake.
  • Do not allow others to dictate how you live. Watch the people who are around you. If they are “my way or the highway,” take the highway. Never feel guilty when you choose to say NO.

Fear only defeats us when we let it.


About living4bliss

Mental Health Food is the place to stop to get your bliss on everyday. I give tips, hints and sometimes a little silliness to help you navigate the challenges of life. We have a great community of positive bloggers that keep the bliss going all day every day. Make sure to visit their blogs, too. Mental Health Food is a product of Believing Life Is Setup for Success, Inc. (B.L.I.S.S.) in Thornton, CO. We have been in the business of teaching success since 1991. We provide workshops, consulting services and now videos that help people just like you start and maintain successful businesses and personal lives using what you already have. Enjoy a daily dose of Mental Health Food; nourishment for the mind.

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