This blog is all about how I got from despair to bliss.

I don’t like to write about past hurts because it changes my focus and takes a while for me to turn back around. It’s like turning the handlebars on your bike. It takes a minute before you begin to move in the direction that you turned in.

If you are feeling hopeless and lost, I have been there, too. There is hope. Things will get better if you work toward it.

My journey into bliss took decades because I had to figure everything out for myself.  I am now happy and look forward to each day, confident that great things will happen. Life is great.

I hope I can save you some time by writing this blog and sharing what worked for me.

If you are unhappy with your life, you can change it.

I did it and I am no better than you.

Choose to spend your energy on creating a better life rather than wallowing in more of the same.

Let’s start by dealing with the past.

You cannot move toward a brighter future if you live in the past

You must address the past quickly, and then move on:

  • Be realistic about the past
  • Put failures in perspective
  • Scramble the picture
  • Focus on a brighter future

Be realistic about the past

Did things seem better in the past? Was life easier and happier for you back then?

Do you wish that things could go back to the way they once were?

You are unhappy with the present, so you relive a happier yesterday. You believe that the old way is better.

But yesterday is gone. Clocks move forward. The old way is done. It is time to move on.

If you want things to go back to the way they were in the past, you will never be happy. Things will never be the same.

  • Ask yourself – “Am I looking at the past through rose colored glasses?” Did everything really go as smoothly as I remember?
  • Evaluate the challenges of the past. I recommend writing them down. How did you overcome them? Was the past really carefree?
  • Never say that the old way was better. This will hold you back from a promising future.
  • Instead, look for good things from your past that you can include in the future. Use your past as a launching pad for future growth.

Put failures in perspective

Reliving the past makes it impossible to envision a better life.

Maybe you had a painful past, but you cannot seem to get beyond the hurt.

Your life seems stuck. You cannot seem to get out.

You believe that this is the way things have always been and this is the way they will always be. There is no way out.

You believe that if you didn’t succeed in the past, you will not succeed in the future.

 If you believe this, you cannot move into the future. You must get unstuck.

By reliving the past you actually CAUSE history to repeat itself. 

By reliving past failures, you turn the focus away from success. You build up evidence of your perceived unworthiness. You stop trying and you become stuck.

Universal laws can either help or hurt you. If you are stuck in the past, the Law of Focus is working against you. You are using it to create more pain for yourself.

When you focus on past pain, it is as if you are reliving that event all over again. You turn yourself into a victim. Pain is a signal that something needs to change.

  • Actively seek evidence of your worthiness. Write down the small victories of the day – you got the kids to school on time, you did the laundry, no matter how small, document. This proves that you are not a failure. You succeed every day.
  • Affirm every day that your past is not your future.
  • In order to succeed, you must believe that it is possible. Read as much as you can about others who overcame the challenges that you are struggling with. They are no better than you. If they can, so can you. Learn HOW they did it and repeat their successes. There is no need to reinvent the wheel.
  • Failure is a part of success. You have to fall down to learn to walk, to ride a bike. You must fail in order to succeed. Failure and some pain are part of the process.  Each time you fail, affirm that you are one step closer to success. YOU WILL LEARN TO WALK.

Scramble the picture

If you base your future on the past, you will have more of the same. You make it impossible to advance into a better life.

It is important to let it go, to reinvent the past by scrambling the picture. Take control of your thoughts, don’t let them control you.

  • Invent a new story about the past, one in which the outcome is different. In your new version of events, confront those that hurt you – and win. Once you are the winner, there is no need to relive it. Remind yourself of this.

Focus on the future

Leave the pain behind you. It belongs in the past, you do not. You belong in the future.

Once I learned to let go, the entire universe of possibilities began to open up before my eyes.

Hold on to your fond memories, but make new ones for the future.

The past is over, but the future can be better. Decide what you want, then go for it.

Your past is not your future.

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About living4bliss

Mental Health Food is the place to stop to get your bliss on everyday. I give tips, hints and sometimes a little silliness to help you navigate the challenges of life. We have a great community of positive bloggers that keep the bliss going all day every day. Make sure to visit their blogs, too. Mental Health Food is a product of Believing Life Is Setup for Success, Inc. (B.L.I.S.S.) in Thornton, CO. We have been in the business of teaching success since 1991. We provide workshops, consulting services and now videos that help people just like you start and maintain successful businesses and personal lives using what you already have. Enjoy a daily dose of Mental Health Food; nourishment for the mind.

11 responses »

  1. AMSDaily says:

    Thank you for sharing one of my posts on your blog! Spread the word, be inspired!

  2. martingysler says:

    Even if your approach is interesting, I’d rather talk about the present than of the future, because it’s the only place where the life is lived. What you think about that?

  3. taquila says:

    Many people should stop allowing their past to speak in their life…..great article.

  4. Good for you!! This post is bound to help a lot of people, Saundra!!

  5. I love that you broke this down into small, manageable action items. It can be so easy to be overwhelmed, but this gives so many simple ideas of where to begin.

  6. […]  4 Ways to Move Past Your Past ( […]

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