A Feisty recently commented on last week’s post Lose the Excuses and had some really good questions. Although I attempted to answer them in the comment’s section, they really deserved a full article explanation.
I intended to post about this today anyway, but I want to make sure that I addressed all of the issues that A Feisty brought up. I hope you are reading today.
A Feisty: There are a few things I’m questioning. Like the quote: “The universe did not invent discrimination, man did.” — I liked it at first, but then I had a thought. Is that true? Man may have given it a name and pushed it on us from birth, but the universe doesn’t help those who do not help themselves…. that in it’s own right is a form of discrimination.
My response: The universe doesn’t really help anyone. It just exists and works. People who help themselves make better use of their resources than those who do not. The universe is not practicing discrimination since everyone has equal opportunity to help themselves.
A Feisty: If it were a person saying it it would sound like “I can’t help lazy people because they don’t work hard enough”
My response: Exactly. Again, the universe isn’t the one doing the helping – you are helping yourself. If you are lazy, it is your choice. The universe allows everyone to choose whether or not to be lazy. The consequences for laziness stay the same. The universe set it up that way, both in the human world and the animal world.
If you don’t work, you don’t eat. Everything in the universe must work to sustain itself.
Imagine a lion who was too lazy to hunt. It would be a dead lion. People who are too lazy to work suffer the same fate. No discrimination – just choice.
A Fiesty: Also, the thought that there are no shortcomings is another thing that made me think if that’s true. There are definitely things out there that inhibit people from accomplishing anything, the first thing I thought of was extreme mental retardation. However, when it comes to physical and/or aesthetic limitations that’s where I think there are no shortcomings, but if you’re missing 3/5ths of your brain then there’s not much you will accomplish.
My response: That is where the principle of realm comes into play. Which leads me into today’s post…
(Thank you A Feisty for such a great comment and a great way to start an article.)
- Your realm of control
- What you can’t control
- Flawed comparison
Principle # 7 – You Only Have Control Over Your Assigned Realm
I am 5’1 and ¾” tall. (The ¾” is VERY important to me. It almost makes me 5’2”).
All the positive thinking will not turn me into a 6’5” super model. It just isn’t going to happen. Physical growth (at least the vertical kind) is not within my assigned realm of control. I cannot control my height and trying to do so is a waste of energy, not to mention extremely foolish.
That does not mean that I must limit myself due to my vertically challenged state. With a step stool and some high heels, the possibilities are limitless.
Besides that, my height (or lack thereof) is the reason that my husband and I are together. He and his tall roommate saw me and my tall friend in the snack shop on campus. My husband took the short one and his roommate took the tall one. His roommate and my friend are also happily married. There is a reason for everything.
Unfortunately, many people use their physical limitations as a way to limit their accomplishments. They make excuses not to control the things they can control because of things that they cannot control.
A few weeks ago, I saw a young woman (I wish I had written down her name) who was born without arms.
She blew me away because she learned to put contact lenses in with her feet!!! Sometimes it takes me awhile to do it with my hands. But that’s not the best part of her story…
She’s a licensed pilot. She decided to learn how to fly using her feet, and she did it. She still had to work within her physical limitations but she was able to accomplish her goal. She can fly a plane with no arms and I sometimes struggle driving a grocery cart with two arms!!!
The person who is born with severe mental or physical challenges still can function within his or her realm. Although their mental capabilities may be below what most of us call “normal,” they still have the ability to function at their maximum capacity, whatever that may be.
There is an amazing phenomenon called Savant Syndrome that medical science is unable to explain. Savants have very limited mental capacity except in one area. In this particular area (music, mathematics, etc.) they far exceed the abilities of most other people. The universe takes care of us all.
What you can’t control
You have been given the authority to control your own thoughts and your own mind.
I say this all the time; you cannot control other people, their thoughts or their mind. Stop frustrating yourself and wasting your energy trying.
You are what you are and they have the absolute right to be what they are. You do not have the right or the authority to change them. It is out of your realm.
If they mistreat you, you have the right to ask them to stop.
They have the right to honor your wishes or not.
You have the right to decide whether the relationship is worth continuing.
You cannot make them treat you well. They will do so if they choose.
Comparison
We tend to make the mistake of comparing others against ourselves. Anything that is different than the way we are, we look at as “abnormal” or event deficient.
Many people who look at differences as deficiencies are insecure with themselves. They feel that belittling others somehow elevates them.
This is how man works, not how the universe works. Understand the universe and free yourself from the constraints of the competitive plane.
You must elevate yourself by your actions, not your appearance. You had nothing to do with your race or ethnicity, it is not an accomplishment. Only what you do is an accomplishment.
The universe creates differences on purpose. Because of the variety of genes, we are less susceptible to disease. Diversity keeps us alive.
Societies also benefit from expertise and specialization caused by diversity. We benefit because some people are great carpenters while others are great artists and musicians.
Because different people have different strengths and weaknesses, we all benefit from the level of expertise they bring. The universe gives us each special gifts. We all benefit when those special gifts are maximized.
Trying to make everyone the same is detrimental to us all. Only people who are ignorant of how the world works would even want such a thing.
Our differences are strengths, not deficiencies.
Yes, A Feisty, I still believe that discrimination is an invention of man and a bad one at that.
I really enjoyed answering A Fiesty’s questions in this post.
Please follow the leader and pose more questions you may be pondering so that I have the opportunity to do this again. This is fun. I hope it helped.
Related Articles
- A Feisty’s Blog (http://feistyflies.wordpress.com/)
- 7 Essential Principles You Must Learn (living4bliss.wordpress.com)
- Mel Taught Me About Crossing Bridges (http://step-on-a-crack.com)
- Complacency and Bananas (http://zendictive.wordpress.com)
- Lose the Excuses (living4bliss.wordpress.com)
- The Deserving Poor (modeledbehavior.com)
- The problem is not the problem … February 7, 2012 (jonathots.wordpress.com)
Mental Health Food 
Great job! Another great article.
Thank you so much. This was especially fun because I got to directly answer a reader’s questions.
I agree that discrimination is the invention of man–adult man. If you put a group of two year olds in a room, you won’t see discrimination.
I did forget the word ADULT. You are right. Kids notice differences but they don’t think of them as deficiencies. We teach each other as adults to do this.
Love it. i just recently went through a revelation of my own about how I have been comparing myself to other people my whole life. It’s the one thing I feel like that has been holing me back, because I compare myself to others and it creates a sense of fear and lack of confidence in me. My mother has been telling me I compare myself to others my whole life, but I never really thought about it until recently.
I’m done with that though. No more comparing. Now, I’m just going to do me and not worry about my accomplishments to date vs. other people’s. They’re doing what they have to do and I need to do what I have to do.
Thank you for answering the question so thoroughly and for this blog. It has really helped me grow and understand so much about myself. Also, it reaffirms things I already know and practice. Nice to know I’m on a good track.
Keep going in the direction that you are heading. You may slip a time or two but don’t beat yourself up about it.
I really appreciate your questions. They were well-thought out and I’m sure lots of people had the same questions but didn’t ask them.
Feel free to ask as many questions as you like as you go through your journey. I really loved answering them this way.
The young woman you mentioned, the pilot – wow, what an amazing story. We can accomplish great things if we truly make an effort.