That’s me in my tic-tac (my nickname for my little car, get it?)

Besides being tremendously fun, my tic-tac is a symbol of triumph. You see, I used to be not only afraid to drive, I would have severe anxiety attacks upon leaving my house alone; so I didn’t. I was trapped in a deep, dark hole created by my own mind.

It’s been 25 years since I came out of that hole and I haven’t really talked about it much. Quite frankly, I’d rather not, but I need to because there are readers out there who are trapped in a similar hole and need to know there is a way out.

It’s time for me to show you how it’s done.

Now, I’m not a mystic, psychic or some chosen person who has been given a special gift. I just know that it’s time to share the same way a pregnant woman knows it’s time. There is something inside me that needs to get out in order to give it a chance to bless others.

It’s time to show you my bundle of joy.

  • The name of the hole doesn’t matter
  • You are not crazy
  • Subdue the rascal

The Name of the Hole Doesn’t Matter

It may not be anxiety or agoraphobia for you. It may be an addiction, an unhealthy relationship, depression or even suicidal thoughts (been down that road, too.)

Regardless of what has you trapped, whatever hole you are in, if you squint you can see the light at the top.

As long as you are alive, you can make it to the top. It gets easier as you climb.

I am not special. I am a regular person just like you. I am not stronger than you. I am not braver than you. I am not better than you. I am not smarter than you. I am not luckier than you.

Like you I lived in a hole and one day I said, “No more, that’s enough.” In that moment things began to change. The light at the top got stronger.

Say it aloud and MEAN it – NO MORE, THAT’S ENOUGH.

Now, grab my hand and let’s climb.

I climbed without therapy because I could not afford it at the time, but if you need help by all means get it. I did it without meds, but if listen to your doctor, not me. I am not trained in medicine. Remember I am not a professional; this is over-the-counter (Tussin for the mind.)

I am merely offering you my hand.

You are Not Crazy

If you haven’t read my 5 RAS lessons, this may not make sense until you do. The links are at the end of this article.

Your creative subconscious (CSC) is your built-in parent. Its job is to protect you and keep you alive. But just like some of our well-meaning parents, it can be a bit overprotective and as a result stop your natural growth. It is the shovel that digs your hole.

To stop the digging, you must remove the shovel. NO MORE removes the shovel.

Your CSC means well, but it is putting you in a mental trap. It puts you in a cage to protect you.

To get out, just open the door. Believe it or not, it’s unlocked.

In my case, my logical (conscious) mind knew that something was wrong, but I mistakenly thought that I was powerless to fix it. I didn’t realize the trap had no lock.

For me it started with driver’s education in high school. It was the first class I ever failed. My mind told me that I was a bad driver.

Nothing crazy about that – except I retook the class passed with an A.

The damage was already done. My negative CSC had the shovel.

The hole got deeper when I wrecked my car. I hit an ice spot and crashed the car into the guardrail. The car suffered minor dents and we were not injured at all.

That meant nothing to my CSC. I was convinced that I was a terrible driver. The good-humored bad driving jokes just reinforced what I already knew. It was a matter of time before someone got hurt or killed with me behind the wheel.

To make the world safer, I began driving less and less until finally I stopped.

But my CSC still wasn’t satisfied. The hole needed to be deeper. I needed to be safer.

I could get grabbed by some weird stranger if I went out the front door alone (where that came from is maybe for another post.) So I stayed in the house where I was safe. I couldn’t even open the front door without breaking into a cold, shaking mess. The mailbox was out of the question.

Now I never got to the point where I couldn’t go out at all. I could go out in the back yard by myself since it was fenced in, but I would never get too close to the fence. You never know who’s back there.

I could also go outside as long as there was someone with me that could protect me, but never by myself.

I kept my anxiety a secret. I didn’t want people to think I was crazy even though I thought I was crazy.

I was not crazy. I was merely a CSC out of control.

After 3 years or so, I finally had enough. NO MORE. I had to regain control of my CSC.

At that point, I didn’t even know that the CSC existed or had a name, but thank God I learned the things I am teaching you in this blog. I took that shovel and unlocked my cage and climbed toward the light.

The light feels good and warm.

It took a long time to get out of my hole, but each day I got closer to the top. You will master it, just keep climbing.

You will master it. Unlike me, you have someone to hold your hand and show you the way. Just don’t stop and hide the CSC’s shovel.

Tic-tac and I drive anywhere there is an Interstate (sometimes where there is not one) with the top down (in the summer, of course) and we love it. Tic-tac has no back seats because we like to be alone on our trips.

Subdue the Rascal

Your CSC is usually more powerful than your conscious mind as a matter of design. But, if you are in a self-induced hole, your CSC has gotten too strong.

It’s like a person in an old-fashioned wheelchair (not the newfangled motorized ones, but the ones you have to push.) They have very strong arms to compensate for their legs. Pushing the wheelchair gives their arms incredible strength.

You have a very strong CSC to compensate for your weak conscious mind. As you feed into the what-ifs, you are giving it additional weight training. It keeps getting stronger each day, holding you back from truly living.

Take its gym membership away NOW.

Luckily, with daily workouts, you can strengthen your conscious mind to the point that it becomes stronger that your CSC. Give it a healthy diet of positive encouragement and watch it grow. Take your “good job” vitamins every day.

Just like any other workout, you have to start slow and increase a little each day. You may want to get the help of a personal trainer (a mental health professional) to guide you through the process, but just remember that they cannot exercise for you, they can only provide you with the proper workout routine and encourage you.

You must do it yourself.

Tic-tac and I are thinking about a weekend trip to Arizona or New Mexico just because it looks cool. We’ve never been there; we might even let my husband join us this time.

What do you think?

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About living4bliss

Mental Health Food is the place to stop to get your bliss on everyday. I give tips, hints and sometimes a little silliness to help you navigate the challenges of life. We have a great community of positive bloggers that keep the bliss going all day every day. Make sure to visit their blogs, too. Mental Health Food is a product of Believing Life Is Setup for Success, Inc. (B.L.I.S.S.) in Thornton, CO. We have been in the business of teaching success since 1991. We provide workshops, consulting services and now videos that help people just like you start and maintain successful businesses and personal lives using what you already have. Enjoy a daily dose of Mental Health Food; nourishment for the mind.

13 responses »

  1. I think Tic-Tac and you would love Sedona, Arizona. Great post – I think it will resonate with many.

  2. Your story is moving and you write so well. I work with people everyday that are down in that hole looking for light. One just left my office. You have the ability to inspire so many. I hope your readers will join you and start climbing.

  3. rumpydog says:

    Wow, I never would have thought that you’d ever had any significant struggles. Just goes to show ya never know.

  4. Saundra, that was phenomenal!!! I tweeted it so it can be more widely shared. Very glad you’re out of that hole and encouraging others!! You are blessed, AND you are a blessing, my Tribal Sister!!

  5. martingysler says:

    A strong message from a person who was in the hole and managed to build a mountain top … great!

  6. ~Hermelynda~ says:

    “Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” – Joseph hart (<— I love it and live it!)

    Thank you for being such a great and empowering gesture; offering your hand to help us climb out of our despairs showing that it can be done without therapy, without medication, if we are fit to do without it.

    How inspiring to read that a offered hand can be just as powerful or even more powerful than those options. Especially a hand who has climbed out of despair as well.


    • living4bliss says:

      Like I said, if you feel that you need additional help, by all means, get it.

      I find that talking with someone who has been there and conquered is the best help because they understand what it is like. Everyone is different, though. Get help any way you can.

  7. […] from is Mental Health Food. She writes honestly and from the heart. My personal favourite is ‘Out of Darkness‘ and the brutally honest ‘5 Common Parental Delusions‘. Many thanks to Ms Bliss […]

  8. […] learned that the hard way a few years later. (You can read Out of Darkness to learn what […]

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