Last week The Today Show featured a family who was complaining that Jet Blue put them off a plane because their toddler melted down.

What the heck is a toddler meltdown? Did their child get trapped in a nuclear reactor? Does the child glow in the dark?

No, it seems that this couple and I speak different languages. I learned that the translation for meltdown was the phrase that child has lost her everlovin’ mind. I’ll save my hazmat suit for another day.

Around my house we preferred the phrase I ain’t havin’ it.

NOTE: Proper grammar is not required in cases of extremely spoiled children and their delusional parents.

The Jet Blue Story

I’m not sure why The Today Show felt the need to air this story, maybe it was a slow news day. But it seems that two highly-educated pediatricians could not understand why a Jet Blue pilot would be so heartless as to remove them from an airplane simply because they could not control their two-year old’s “meltdown” (the child lost her everlovin’ mind) and “convince” her to sit in her seat so that the plane could take off.

The nerve of those heartless Jet Blue people.

How could they even think that the other 300 passengers were more important than their precious little golden-haired moppet? Why can’t they show some compassion and ignore FAA safety rules for this special little family?

Luckily the parents didn’t take this insult lying down. No siree Bob. They took it on the Today Show complete with a Facebook poll.

They would show those Jet Blue people just what America thought about their heartless act.

71% of the people polled agreed with Jet Blue. The other 29% either didn’t understand the question or are just plain delusional.

Are You Delusional?

The Facebook question was simple – should an entire plane full of passengers be delayed because two perfectly able-bodied parents cannot get their two-year old child to sit down in the seat?

If you answered YES – you are either delusional or didn’t understand the question. Read it again carefully before proceeding and try again. If the answer is still YES, then I’m afraid you are delusional.

Let me help you with this so that I can enjoy my travels, shopping, restaurant meals, etc. in bliss.

I intended to cover this topic in one post, but once I started writing, I realized that there are too many delusions for just one article.

So I will post the first 5 delusions in this article and continue on this subject in future posts. It is my duty as an American dedicated to peace and tranquility for all. (stepping into a phone booth to don my leotards and cape – No, I didn’t take pictures. Super heroes never take pictures while they are changing. What’s wrong with you?)

1.       The Bill of Rights is Written for Adults. Adults pay taxes, children do not, therefore adults have rights that children do not. Children cannot vote because they are not old enough. They are not adults and should not be given the same rights as adults (although I sometimes think they would be more responsible voters than many adults.)

There is no reason that a healthy adult cannot put a tiny two-year old in an airplane seat and buckle her in. It’s just not that hard. Almost forgot – Mom AND Dad in this case were not able to accomplish this simple task. What’s wrong with this picture?

Did the child pay for the plane ticket? If not, she has the right to sit down and get buckled in so the rest of the passengers can get to their destination on time. She also has the right to be quiet so that I can enjoy whatever lousy movie they are playing on the plane.

The pilot has the right to make that happen because he or she is an adult with rights, too. See, the adult pilot has the right to make it home in time for dinner.

It’s in the Constitution I am sure. Number VIII – cruel and unusual punishment. A “meltdown” –qualifies as punishing me.

See – it’s against the law.

Your non-taxpaying child is violating my tax-paying rights.

I ain’t havin’ it.

2.       Sleepy children are NOT an excuse for meltdown (i.e. losing their everlovin’ mind.) First of all, why are you dragging your child to Walmart at 10:30 at night? The child is acting a fool because they need to be in bed, not Walmart. Take the child home and put it to bed please.

Part of your child’s physical health depends on them getting the required amount of sleep. You wouldn’t deprive them of food, don’t deprive them of sleep.

Sleep is (or should be) in the child’s bill of rights.

This isn’t about you; it’s about your child’s physical health and my mental health (note the name of this blog.)

Universal Law: it doesn’t revolve around you and your needs. Put your child to bed.

I ain’t havin’ it.

3.       Discipline builds self-esteem. Where did the crazy idea come from that children should be allowed to do as they please?

Children don’t have enough sense to know how to act. That’s why adults were invented. It’s a Universal Law.

Did the e-mail with the job description of PARENT accidently end up in your spam folder? If so, white-list it immediately. There is important stuff in there that you need to read.

Children are born UNCIVILIZED and will remain so unless someone (YOU) teaches them how to act. Get to work.

Nothing will tear into a child’s self-esteem more than not being allowed to visit their friends because you never stopped them from walking across the kitchen table. What are you thinking?

I ain’t havin’ it.

What do you think being labeled as “bad” does to their self-worth?

Take the time to teach them how to act so that they feel good about themselves.

Please and thank you doesn’t hurt, either.

4.       Your child will NOT grow out of tantrums. When a child has a tantrum, they have lost their mind. It is up to you to find it for them. It was in the PARENT e-mail.

Life gets really hard for people when they have lost their minds. The sooner you find your child’s, the easier life will be for them.

Begging and whining for the child to stop only escalates the insanity by rewarding unacceptable behavior. Yes, Virginia, tantrums are unacceptable.

I ain’t havin’ it.

Non-violent tantrums (screaming, crying, stomping feet) are dealt with by ignoring the behavior, rather than becoming an audience. Walk away. They will probably scream louder for a few seconds, but once they realize that this does not have the desired effect, they will tire themselves out and stop. They probably needed a nap anyway.

Either way, they’ll get over it. You need to get over it, too. You have not ruined their self-esteem, you have restored their self-respect and taught them self-control. It comes in handy in the adult world.

By all means, do not give into their demands. Never negotiate with a terrorist.

Speaking of terrorist, two can play that game. You are bigger than your child; use that to your advantage. Learn to tower over them with a scary, mean face. Let them know when you mean business. Let them wonder what you’ll do next.

I used to dial 911 and tell my kids to pray that the ambulance gets there in time. I wasn’t really going to hurt them. They knew that, but enough of them was not quite sure so they found their minds with the quickness.

I ain’t havin’ it.

I know it’s not fair. Who said anything about fair? This is about all-out parental domination and making the world safe for democracy. You have to do what you have to do. Jet Blue passengers the world over are depending on you. Let your cape blow in the wind for effect.

Public tantrums are dealt with by removing the audience. Remove the child from the event and do not go back until they behave like they have some sense. Explain this to them and allow them to join civilization once they find their mind. If they repeat the behavior, take them home and punish them.

You can look for their mind while they are in time-out.

Sometimes it may become necessary to pay the check BEFORE the appetizer. Make sure to include a healthy tip. Depending on the severity and length of the tantrum, a round of drinks for the house may also be in order. I’m sure I read that in Emily Post somewhere.

Violent tantrums are dealt with by restraint. It is abuse to have bruises from a child kicking or biting you or others. It is not abusive to hold their hands or legs so that they cannot do so. Remove any object that can be used as a projectile or weapon from their reach.

Hold them accountable with severe punishment if they damage or break something or hurt someone during their outburst. Wait until the tantrum is over before administering the punishment or you will just reinforce their behavior.

Then spend some quality time searching for their everlovin’ mind. You can look for it together. You will bond with your child as you search for his or her mind. Maybe they left it in the bed when they should have been taking their nap.

You must get this under control while you are stronger than they are. They must learn not to hurt other people before they become adults and are locked away from society permanently.

By the way, learn to put a little bass in your voice. End your demands (yes I said demands) by lowering your voice. Raising your voice at the end of a sentence makes it sound like a question.

Asking is not an option. Children do not have the right to vote, remember?

The only acceptable question in this case is “have you lost your everlovin’ mind?”

Other questions are out of the question.

5.       Believe it or not, your kids are not that cute. Most kids are cute and the ones that aren’t so cute grow on you if they act like they have some sense.

No child is cute when they are red-faced in the middle of the cereal aisle, kicking and screaming, foaming at the mouth, blowing bubbles out of their nose and blocking my access to the Fiber One.

Look closely at your child. If they look anything like Linda Blaire in the pea soup scene in The Exorcist, they are not in any way cute and if you think they are, you are delusional.

Wipe their nose and take them home. I’m losing my appetite.

Have a talk with them and remind them about proper behavior BEFORE you go into the store, please.

Hire a sitter if you need to, but I ain’t havin’ it.

Bottom line, your kids don’t have the right to ruin my bliss.

I ain’t havin’ it and neither is Jet Blue.

Can I get an Amen from the choir?

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About living4bliss

Mental Health Food is the place to stop to get your bliss on everyday. I give tips, hints and sometimes a little silliness to help you navigate the challenges of life. We have a great community of positive bloggers that keep the bliss going all day every day. Make sure to visit their blogs, too. Mental Health Food is a product of Believing Life Is Setup for Success, Inc. (B.L.I.S.S.) in Thornton, CO. We have been in the business of teaching success since 1991. We provide workshops, consulting services and now videos that help people just like you start and maintain successful businesses and personal lives using what you already have. Enjoy a daily dose of Mental Health Food; nourishment for the mind.

29 responses »

  1. You had me in stitches because it’s true. I really do agree with you on most cases.

    What took the caper and got the wife so curious of why I was laughing out aloud was “No child is cute when they are red-faced in the middle of the cereal aisle, kicking and screaming, foaming at the mouth, blowing bubbles out of their nose and blocking my access to the Fiber One”

    Though keep in mind, that there are always extenuating circumstances, but most of the time it is due to ignorance. Unfortunately we have one of the circumstances, and unless we are in the checkout aisle with half our things already scanned, we drop it all leave the place and sit in the car until my young fellow is calmed again and hopefully the other two haven’t started up yet or… we just send one in. I was the same as a kid, and it was refined foods such as white flour, white suger, and a few other things including oranges. Back in my day however it was squashed with a good firm hand (or 10) in the midst of a crowd. Can’t do that these days…

    • living4bliss says:

      Don’t feel bad, when I was writing that, my son called and his toddler was losing his mind (at home) I told my son to walk away while I read the article to him & I couldn’t finish it because I was laughing so hard. The tantrum stopped in a few minutes and the baby went to sleep.

      All parents have been there but you don’t put up with it is my point.

  2. Jane says:

    Amen. I know every time I watch “Super Nanny,” my good-mother self-esteem goes up a notch or two. When my two were young, I employed the finger-snapping warnings or the Very Low Voice to signal I wasn’t messing around; they weren’t the boss of me :)

    • living4bliss says:

      Good for you. I was strict but loving with my kids. My husband and I were in charge, not the children.

      Now that they are adults, they thank us. They probably weren’t thrilled when they were children.

  3. Dave says:

    From the time my son was born, I spoke an adult language with him. Not sure if it contributed to his behavior.

    In any case when living in Las Vegas quite a few years, ago, we flew as a family to Los Angeles when he was about 9 mos. from his 3rd birthday.

    We watched some airplanes on TV. Watched people getting on airplanes at the ‘real’ airport before our flight. The crew allowed us aboard a plane that was at the gate. Not supposed to but, they did. We sat for a minute, and asked if, he felt ok? I asked him about the ‘jet’ noise. He just replied with hands over ears. I asked if, he wanted to laugh or, cry. No.

    We went through a little prep prior to our actual flight, and we repeated the prep next couple of flights.

    People were getting on our flight, and we received some glares. Hopefully, the prep would pay off. Did it ever!

    Nothing! This kid was a gem! Several of the passengers glaring on the way in, were coming up to us with the highest compliments on the way out. Several more approached him with smiles, and grins of relief.

    I believe part of it is, prep. Part is, luck. It can be done, however.

    That boy is now a great 24 y/o college man w/an IQ in the mid 200s.

    All paid the same, and nobody should receive allowances at the expense of others.

    • living4bliss says:

      Dave, it sounds to me that you read the PARENT e-mail and followed the instructions quite well.

      I also agree with the not talking “baby” talk with your child, it just teaches them to speak incorrectly.

      Most children respond to preparation just as your son did. Explain to them what is expected of them in new situations and rehearse if needed.

      Thank you so much for being a responsible parent. Please write a book, make a movie or something to help others.

      I wrote this article in a humorous way, but in reality, it is not funny. Parents are doing their children a great disservice when they allow unacceptable behavior to continue.

      Thank you.

  4. Jenn Smith says:

    AMEN!! Oh my gosh, I was laughing so loudly that surely my co-workers now have confirmation of my insanity. This is the kind of straight talk that many parents need. Kids need to be taught that they do not have the right to disrespect others. Wasting others time, offending their ears, and many of the other obnoxious behaviors you have mentioned here when displayed at home need to be corrected and when displayed in public are just disrespectful. I ain’t havin’ it either. Again, I say – AMEN!!

    • living4bliss says:

      I do believe,my dear Jenn that you were warned about my out-of-control humor as the weather gets warmer.

      I wanted to get his message across in a funny way, but we really need to get control of our kids.

      Thank you so much for the Amen.

  5. I giggled and snickered through this entire post — all of it is so true.When our children were young my husband and I did not put up with any type of misbehaving while out in public and as a result they were almost always good in public. At home was a different story. I can’t wait to read the rest!

    • living4bliss says:

      I think you, too were warned about my sense of humor.

      My kids were by no means angels (I coined a new word to describe them – demonites) but they didn’t act up in public because they knew if they embarrassed me I would embarrass them.

      I’m glad you enjoyed. The next round is comin’

      • I’m sure my grown kids could write their own blogs listing all of my warning threats, only some of which wouldn’t have gotten arrested for had I acted on them.

      • living4bliss says:

        I am glad to hear that I am not the only parent who got creative with threats. I will not confess to all of them because I’m not sure if the statute of limitations has run out yet.

        The loving threats we make as parents are mild compared to the unloving threats made (and carried out) by law enforcement.

        If you truly love your kids, you will love them enough to teach them discipline.

        We are on the same page.

      • That we are…When my younger one was still in high school and was going to visit her sister in college over Halloween weekend last year…I told her I don’t care what happens but do not get arrested and I better not see anything inappropriate involving her on facebook.

      • living4bliss says:

        No girls gone wild??? You mean mommy, you. How can you surpress her natural curiosity and creativity??? LOL

      • Oh not suppressing it – I just don’t want any evidence of it especially as a student athlete…she’s away at college this year and I’m sure she’s gotten quite creative!

      • living4bliss says:

        Somethings are better if you don’t know.

        My kids are 27 and I don’t know if they have a guilty conscious or what, but they feel the need to share their escapades with me. TMI, really.

        I keep wondering, am I going to die soon? Why are they telling me this stuff now?

      • LOL!
        Actually I can’t wait for some of the stories to start slipping out as they get older (now 21 and 19) Though I honestly don’t think they’ve gotten anywhere near the things I did in my youth.

      • living4bliss says:

        Don’t bet on it.

        I think I will blog about my little terrors next week.

  6. irenelefort says:

    I am with you all the way, especially on Point 3. :-)

    • living4bliss says:

      I had to look up point 3, and I thank you for the AMEN.

      I love children, but I really think that parents are shirking their duties when they refuse to correct their children’s behavior.

      The walking across the kitchen table is not made up, by the way. I used to babysit for the little monsters that did this and their mother did not want me to correct them.

      • irenelefort says:

        Exactly! Urgh! They are kids stop treating them as adults!

      • living4bliss says:

        Exactly. What I didn’t say is that as adults these spoiled kids end up in my college classroom and I have to assume the role that their mothers did not and teach them the things they should have learned at age 2.

        It’s time for parents to respect others.

      • irenelefort says:

        I can’t help but agreeing with you again. It is also about respecting others. :-) Have a wonderful Saturday!

      • living4bliss says:

        BINGO.

        I realize children can be difficult at times, but it is about respect and common sense. Even 2 year olds can be taught to behave in public but too many parents drag the poor child around when he or she is tired and then wonder why they misbehave. Also, many parents will give in to tantrums and teach their children that the way to get what they want is by acting out.

  7. [...] 5 Common Parental Delusions (living4bliss.wordpress.com) [...]

  8. [...] the heart. My personal favourite is ‘Out of Darkness‘ and the brutally honest ‘5 Common Parental Delusions‘. Many thanks to Ms Bliss for sharing the [...]

  9. Another great post. Keep educating.

  10. I could not agree more strongly, Saundra!! Great post!! It sounds like my book, “Mother’s Dozen: An Easy Recipe for Raising GREAT Kids!”

    • living4bliss says:

      There’s more coming. Granny is just getting started. LOL

      I don’t believe I’ve seen that book. Is it a new one?

      Can you post it on my Facebook page so I can share it with my fans?

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